Sex and Responsibility 9: Dependency

November 29, 2012

Sexual intercourse creates a dependency syndrome on those involved in it especially women. The companionship of men and women is a very good thing. But the dependence of one on the other for how to live one’s life even in marriage is wrong. One of the key elements of the Foundation for Joyful Relationships is independence. Partnerships are made stronger if both partners have a life of their own which they are offering to the relationship. This is why the education of women is considered the most important education any nation can provide for the good of the society.

Every party to any form of relationship be it business, social, religious, dating and marital should be independent of each other to be able to find joy, peace and happiness in that relationship. There is no doubt in my mind that some readers of this script are already querying how a husband and wife should not be dependent on each other. Well, if you are asking, be patient and read on for you would find the answers.

Some synonyms of dependency are addiction, craving, enslavement and reliance. These are no doubt, obviously negative words. They simply denote that anybody afflicted with the attitude of dependency is suffering some addiction, is in slavery or have a craving and we all know that cravings are used to refer to inappropriate desires or wants. We have learned from experience that we cannot rely on the arm of flesh for our economic, social and spiritual security. Each person must be worthy to enter the kingdom of God on their own capacity and of and by themselves. No father, mother, husband, wife or whosoever can do it for any other.

One of the reasons we enter into a relationship with people is so we can fulfill the main purpose of our life which is to learn to be happy. We need to realize that relationships as a path to happiness is just a path. It is not the only path. The studies of happiness have also revealed that no one can make you happy. Happiness has been found to be a choice which an individual has to make and cannot be dependent on any other person outside of oneself. If you understand happiness as an individual choice, then you can understand the assertion that all parties to a relationship should be independent for them to hope to achieve the corporate happiness that is possible in the relationship. It simply means that your dependence on a husband or wife or any relationship partner for your happiness is misplaced hope that is bound to harm us ultimately.

Sexual intercourse is a major harbinger of dependency. This is regardless of whether the sexual intercourse is obtained in holy matrimony or in illicit sexual activity.

Perhaps if one is enslaved to a legally and lawfully wedded spouse, it may be pardonable. It is an unpardonable self-inflicted addiction and enslavement to be involved premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse produces a sense of entitlement, especially in a woman. The moment a man starts asking a woman for sexual intercourse, most women erroneously feel that that is a sign that the man needs them. Men do not set out in need of women in their natural state. They set out to get sex.

Sexual relationship for a woman naturally – with the exception of professional prostitutes – is done with her whole being – mind, body, heart and soul. Men see and do sexual intercourse with only their mind. Sex is strictly a mental activity for a man. A man can get sex with as many women as his mind can imagine and fantasize on the pleasure of it. This is why women end up with the dependency syndrome when they start having sexual intercourse with a man. And this is why they are usually the worst hit when the relationship breaks down. They lose everything – mind, body, heart and soul – which they had put in.
Even the women we see as wayward or in prostitution regardless of their class – whether big time city girls or the hotel based prostitute or the neighbourhood generous sex-giver – are merely reacting to the bad deals they had in the hands of the men they had depended on who have abandoned them for sexual intercourse with other women.

We all know that a sense of entitlement is a dangerous attitude that always ends in sorrow and shame and this is regardless of whether it is the man or woman that feels entitled to something or somebody’s time and resources.

The lowest form of life is not the life of poor people. The lowest form of life is the life of any man or woman, no matter their education and status that depends on somebody or something be that a husband, money, property or car for their happiness.

Sex and Responsibility 8: Shyness

November 29, 2012

One of the major challenges that face youth age girls is the emergence of their sexuality attributes. This is evidenced by sprouting breasts, pubic and armpit hairs, expanding hips, onset of menstrual flow, etc. Every girl have welcomed these developments with trepidation and where not assisted by kind and attentive parents, especially mothers, that fact alone induces a state of timidity, nervousness and introversion in her.

The preteen and later teenage boys are not spared. The penis and scrotum enlarges, becoming more sensitive to touch or brushing by other parts of the body or tight clothes also introduces the same sensation of shyness in him.

All these weird experiences produce the negative character trait of shyness and some attendant anti-social behaviour that lead the teenage boys and girls to develop poorly. They face the challenge of not being able to fit in the same garb as their peers.

The key for saving these groups is education and support from parents who understand and can lovingly teach the purpose of these growths and developments.

As a girl battles with this emotional turmoil, it is almost as if one is nailing her to a cross when you introduce her to sexual intercourse outside the bounds of legal and lawful matrimony. It would be some wisdom if the men who lure little girls into illicit sexual intercourse could consider that they are destroying the sense of self-worth and confidence of such a girl.

Even when living conditions, poverty or even environmental factors lure a girl into early sexual relationships by her own free will and choice, she loses her honour and sense of worth. She is enveloped by the negative trait of shyness. Most of the girls take to self-destruct habits such as smoking, drinking and other depravities that nail her to perpetual poverty for herself and her offspring which are usually begotten of out of wedlock.

Intrinsically, all out of wedlock sexual intercourse and most especially teenage sexual involvement are clear to those involved as evil or at least a wrong doing. Even when they make strenuous effort to deny it, in those moments of truth when the party is over and all other actors have gone home or to different places, it dawns on all those involved that what they have done is wrong. They are racked emotionally. Sometimes, they understand what is happening to them. Most times, they don’t understand what is tormenting their lives and leading them to the dangerous habits of drinking and smoking and the attendant ill-health condition.

At other times, they battle with the “everybody is doing it” attitude which struggles to justify the act. The justification battle has been known to do more harm than good for them.

Most of the teenage girls grow into angry women who some of the times end up as street women. Their attitude to society is that of enemies – we and them. They see the rest of the society in the light of the man who in his wickedness introduced them to illicit sexual intercourse, or raped them or probably made them pregnant and abandoned them to fend for themselves and their child or even procure illegal abortions that lead to permanent ill-health, childlessness and other harrowing social experiences for them.

In other words, the impact of shyness rooted into sexual activity, especially by teenage girls and even other unmarried persons is very destructive to the individual and to the society at large.
In consequence, anybody engaging in premarital sexual intercourse should consider the ramifications and stop right there. Spare the girl and spare the world of another anguished woman who would start life shying and whose anger might lead to disease spread, deaths and multiplicity of sorrow and pain.

What Is Success?

November 16, 2012

What Is Success?.

Sex and Responsibility 7: Loss of Self-Esteem

November 1, 2012

The two big time thieves of a sense of self-worth in women is premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse. The male partners involved with these women even consider their female partners very poorly. The men do not trust these women. They treat these women poorly. These women no matter what they do cannot earn the respect of these men and of other men around who are privy to what is going on. Men also try to buoy up their ego by announcing how and the very women they have had sexual liaison with. And those involved know it and it affects their self-esteem. There is also an unconscious connection to what the women feel about themselves. These women deep inside them feel like trash but they usually cannot place their hands on the cause.

These illicit sexual unions hardly result in marriage. When they result in marriages, it is usually without trust and often abusive. All that premarital and extra marital sexual intercourse bring to the practitioners especially the women are shame and pain of heart. No woman ever glory in the act of premarital and extramarital sex. They, in fact, wish the ground open for them to fall in when they reflect on their condition or have it flash in their inner mind and heart.

More often than not, people think there is much to be gained by premarital and extra material sexual intercourse. They think in terms of the fun and excitement, the material benefits such clothing, shoes, jewelry, money and connections for jobs and other sundry considerations. There is much emphasis in worldliness these days. It is only in worldliness that you can find value for the benefits of inappropriate sexual behaviour. Whatever value we see of the proceeds of immorality pales into worthless trash almost immediately.

People have even hinted and sometimes boasted of how a man they had this illicit sexual intercourse with was responsible for saving their families from poverty by his generosity to all their family members, providing jobs to the women and their siblings. These considerations have been known to avail very little when the impact of the act starts manifesting in the mind and heart and body and the environment of those who are involved in it.

Some of the feelings that those who are involved in unlawful sexual intercourse struggle with, which take away any joys and excitements and the supposed value of any material benefits include:

• Shyness
• Dishonour
• Dependence
• Pain
• Shame
• Scuttled dreams
• Poverty
• Enmity
• The Spirit of God stops striving with the fellow
• Loss of the zeal for living

All these and more combined produce a loss of self-esteem which precludes those involved from enjoying their lives to the fullest possible. These challenges arising from premarital and extra marital sexual activity create stumbling blocks in the lives of the people involved in it.

The loss self-esteem takes away the enthusiasm for life. It affects our thought processes even when we do not see it or accept that it does. By the time the effect starts manifesting, we are already in deep waters and some have ended up as psycho cases which are usually blamed on neighbourhood witches and wizards and envious relatives.

Be wise and avoid any form of premarital and extra marital sexual activity in your life.

Sex and Responsibility 6: Sorrow

October 8, 2012

Joy which also means happiness, delight and pleasure is one of the principal pursuits of man.
Many a man and woman seeking for pleasure have docked at the bay of sexual intercourse as a source for the pleasure they seek. For a thousand cases of such men and women who arrived at the bay of sexual intercourse in their pursuit of pleasure, it has been one thousand cases of grief, mourning, sadness, distress, regret, trouble and unhappiness which mean sorrow.

Sorrow is one of the key worries we should all factor when we think about pleasure from sexual intercourse. The transient nature of pleasure from sexual intercourse has been measured and known to have lasted at the best for about an hour and mostly less than that. There is a popular saying connected with sexual intercourse especially where it concerns premarital and extramarital sex that says for five minutes of pleasure, people end up in a lifetime of sorrow and pain.

There are many reasons people get sorrow from sexual intercourse in place of the pleasure or other things they seek. The reasons include but not limited to the following:

• Unmet Expectation – As indicated earlier, many erroneously believe that sexual intercourse is a reliable source of pleasure. Experience has shown that is far from the truth. All the pleasure that can be derived from sexual intercourse is so flitting that before you could finish spelling Jack Robinson, all the ability of sexual intercourse to give you pleasure has been finished and you are already beginning to ask for more. Many also fantasize such great sexual intercourse experiences before they have the opportunity to reach it. Experience has proven that nothing can be more a mirage than getting great sex. A great sex can come after years of practicing and experiencing sexual intercourse with a spouse. Those engaged in premarital and extramarital sex hardly have the time and space needed to get a great sex. So unmet expectations is one of the major sources of sorrow that should be considered when thinking sexual intercourse.

• Giving and obtaining sexual intercourse for the wrong reasons – Sexual intercourse has a purpose. There is a primary and a secondary purpose for sexual intercourse. The primary purpose is procreation – the reproduction of offspring for the specie. It is the same purpose for animals as it is for human beings. The secondary purpose is to produce relief from stress and bonding for parents of the offspring. Because of the nature of childbirth and rearing both in human and animal beings, there is need for two people to bond together to provide a culture, vision and purpose for the emerging generation. Sexual intercourse helps to achieve these purposes. Outside these purposes, sexual intercourse is a worthless hassle and is actually expensive in time, resources and emotional balance of the specie. When women give sexual intercourse for purposes outside the two above, they shortchange themselves and they quickly see that they have made a mistake. The same with men who seek sexual intercourse for reasons outside procreation and bonding purposes with a spouse. What naturally follows is regret or sorrow. In most cases, the women find out that the money and materials they got have not really compensated for what they have lost in the process of premarital or extramarital sex. They are quick to find out that sexual intercourse is not really able to persuade the man to propose marriage. Instead, the men would be demanding more and more free booty. Why pay for what you can have for free is the philosophical quiz of the men considering that the only worthwhile payment for sexual intercourse with any man is marriage.

• The wrong and evil nature of premarital and extramarital sex – That premarital and extramarital sex is wrong and evil is not going to be erased by media hype in favour of permissiveness and perversion of our times. The nature of premarital and extramarital sex would not be changed by the fact that it has acquired great notoriety among the so-called modern society. The truth is that intrinsically, men and women know about the wrong and evil nature of premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse so they regret while and after doing it. Even when they put up a public face of all is well; they feel the sorrow and pain of it in their private hours. As the trauma producing effects of these evil and wrong acts distil on the soul of the men and women who do it, they sometime confide in people or bemoan and mourn.

• Unwanted pregnancy – This is one of the major subtopics of this project. It is, however, apt to revisit it here because of its contributory factor in the destruction of the objective of those who seek sexual intercourse for pleasure. Whatever joy they may ever attain from sexual intercourse is not just erased by unwanted pregnancy, it adds to the lifelong sorrow and sometimes, the eternal damnation of the people involved.

• Abortion and the attendant consequences of death, barrenness and sickness – This like unto unwanted pregnancy and also a derivation of the same. Now, our pleasure seekers who anchored at the wrong bay of sexual intercourse wakes some weeks later to find that one of them is now pregnant with an offspring nobody wants. As the saying goes, one sin leads to another; they quickly contemplate abortion or are advised to do so by some bystander counselors, usually peers. Many have obtained their abortions in the hands of quacks leading to death, destruction of the woman’s womb so she could not ever conceive a child again. Some have been infected or have had incomplete removal leading to major sicknesses that render the woman’s life miserable throughout the rest of her days. In spite of the above consequences, there is an emotional trauma connected to abortion. Those who have gone through the process who later talked about their experiences would tell you that nothing have been more agonizing in their lives than the awful and terrible feeling that they had done something terribly wrong. They also feel worthless and wasted from inside. This is the real meaning of sorrow.

Sex And Responsibility 5: Emotional Imbalance

October 8, 2012

Exciting sexual intercourse is 99% fantasy. Even the daydream is over most times before it ever started. The practitioners are left with more confusion than satisfaction. This is why you have people with insatiable sexual behaviour. The truth is that there would never be sexual satisfaction for anybody.

It involves a lot of work to get sex. This is even so among animals. Where the sexual organs are placed in the human and animal bodies suggests some sacredness and secrecy. It takes a lot of physical and emotional demands to get there for both men and women respectively.

For the men, sexual intercourse is much of a physical thing. For the women, it is much of an emotional thing. Women have a connection to sexual intercourse that is intrinsic. Women do sex with their soul – their being – you can say with their mind, body and heart. Conversely, men do sex with their body only. Sexual intercourse is simply organic to men while it is soulful for women. This is why – without being commercial sex workers – a man could have sexual intercourse with two or more women at once and feel normal. The same act of having sexual intercourse with more than one person at once produces seriously traumatizing experience for women.

Even when they have sexual intercourse with one person who they even claim to love or desire outside marriage, the women are not at peace. Those who hear confessions would tell you that women are the ones that usually come forward to confess sexual sins. The men are usually dragged out to confess because the women with whom they are involved have come forward and confessed to the authorities and have mentioned the men.

In sexual intercourse, women seek connection to a better half while men sick expression of their manliness. Sexual intercourse never means the same thing for men and women. For men it is more of sport where they try to show prowess. For women, it is a different kettle of fish. Women invest their body, mind and heart or in other words, their soul into a sexual act. Research has show that even women commercial sex workers are traumatized by their own sex life more than the stigma of being a commercial sex worker does. Some reported of getting ‘a wasting feeling’ – as if their essence is being rubbed or scraped off their bodies and washed away in a drain. They feel an indescribable imbalance in their being that torments.

For other women of lose moral who are not residing in brothels, they are so distraught, they, without wisdom of what is happening, imagine that getting more sexual partners, acquiring more stuff – material gains such cash in the bank, cars, property, clothing and other apparels – could quench their propensity. All those involved know that it doesn’t. The truth is that those involved are in a state of emotional imbalance.

Regardless of the bravado of men and the physical nature of their sex life, premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse create serious emotional imbalance in them as is the case in women. It is this emotional imbalance that make it possible for a woman not having any knowledge of fact about her husband’s extramarital sexual life could be aware of the fact that her husband is cheating on her. In my marriage coaching and counselling experience, many women have confessed having so strong feelings about their husband’s escapades. They feel oppressed when there is no visible oppressor. They have felt distrustful of their husbands regardless of the man’s effort to make them feel otherwise. These feelings have usually led to crisis that finally exposes the fact that the man have been cheating.
Now, the problem here is that regardless of the permissiveness of our times, the media hype about sexual licence and even the claims by some esoteric schools that sexual intercourse between two consenting adults is alright, experience has shown that the human person is in a sticky situation with every premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse. Many people put up all sorts of logics and excuses for getting involved in illicit sexual intercourse. Some even work hard to drown their act with alcohol. But we all know that it does not really work. The bravado and boastings about our sexual escapades have never been able to remove the sense of guilt and torment that sire our soul when we are involved in inappropriate sexual relationship.

These feelings of guilt and torment of the soul produces emotional imbalance in the human person. Some of the times, when we are in a situation of emotional imbalance, we usually are not able to put our hands on the matter with us. In a state of emotional imbalance, we make mistakes, we are unhappy and we lose our peace and sometimes sleep. Because of the intrinsic nature of our emotions it is not easy for us to immediately place its influence in our responses and reactions to situations that affect our lives.
Generally, our behaviours change. People around us wonder what is wrong. When we are asked what is wrong, we usually retort that nothing is wrong. This is, however, because we do not really know what is affecting or influencing our conduct and worries.

This is how it is possible for a woman to decipher that her husband is having an affair when she has no evidence to prove anything.

If the situation continues without repentance and totally abandoning the course, it leads to nervous breakdown and usually to a breakdown of the marriage.

Sex And Responsibility 4: Diseases

September 28, 2012

Sex And Responsibility 4: Diseases.

Sex And Responsibility 4: Diseases

September 14, 2012

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Your Dependable Relationship Coach

Perhaps the most negatively challenging responsibility of sexual intercourse is disease.  Sexually transmitted diseases and infections are rampant these days.  Strains of sexually transmitted diseases and infections that are drug resistant and incurable are emerging. 

In addition, there is the human immune system destroying virus which causes the acquired immune deficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS).  The acquired immune deficiency syndrome is a terminal disease.  It is, so far, incurable.  Since the emergence of AIDS in the early 1980s, the transmission and resultant deaths have been increasing.  Many new terminologies arising from the prevalence of AIDS disease are now common place.  We hear such things as people living with HIV, AIDs orphans, mother to child transmission, etc.

STDs and STIs and the dreadful HIV and AIDS are not just diseases of stigma; they are diseases of shame, pain and death. They cause impotence in men and barrenness in women.  The pain, sorrow and anguish resulting from contacting any of these sexual intercourse bound diseases are best imagined.  Those who have contacted any or several of these diseases can inform you that there is no trauma more challenging.

Among the common and sometimes terminal diseases associated with sexual intercourse include but not limited to:

  • Gonorrhea
  • Herpes
  • Syphilis
  • Staphylococcus
  • HIV and AIDS

All of these diseases are not just embarrassing to have, they are painful and deadly.  They all have different variants and strains.  Some of the strains are more deadly than the others.

The stigma associated with having venereal or sexually transmitted diseases make sufferers to hide their condition.  They avoid obtaining appropriate medical attention for fear that people would know what they are going through.  This has wrecked many marriages as the man or woman tries to hide the condition from their spouses and doctors.  People are wont to hide condition from their doctor because a good medical practitioner would insist on having the two partners treated.  The medical policy on venereal diseases is to treat a cluster of at least four sex partners.  This indicates that the person sick of sexually transmitted diseases might have been having sexual intercourse with at least three other men or women and the doctors would insist on bringing everybody in for treatment.  When sufferers are told about this policy, they run and hide and refuse to surface. A prolonged case of ordinary gonorrhea causes impotence and barrenness.  There are at present several drug resistant strains of gonorrhea. 

Traumas in childless marriages are such that it is much wiser to consider the disease responsibility factor when faced with the choice to get involved in premarital sexual intercourse. 

Consider the blessing of a couple who both came pure to their marriage and are able to live without sexually transmitted infections to hide and to suffer the shame that comes with it.

But because they are avoidable, it makes a lot sense that we consider them when we are thinking of or are under pressure for sexual intercourse.

Sex And Responsibility 3: Unplanned Marriage

July 26, 2012

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Francis Nmeribe, Author and Coach

One of the most challenging experiences of life is to have to be forced into marriage.  Some people are married under circumstances beyond their control.  One of the most causative agents of unplanned marriage is premarital or even extra-marital sexual intercourse.  It is the most woeful condition to be married outside one’s control.  But the truth is that there are lots of these kinds of marriages these days occasioned by improper sexual behaviour.

Sexual intercourse carries with it a responsibility any day and any time and at any place it is prosecuted.  One of such responsibilities of sexual intercourse outside the bounds of legal and lawful wedlock is unplanned marriage.

The problem of unplanned marriage is not diminished by the biological age of those involved.  This is because there are apart from physical maturity for marriage; there are also mental, emotional, spiritual and mindset preparation for marriage.  Getting married is a decision a person need to make consciously.  The fact that a man or woman made decision to get married whether early in life or later makes a difference in relation to what he or she brings to bear on the success of the marriage relationship.

Marriage on its own is a challenging experience even when it is well planned in advance.  The life experiences of those involved in a marriage relationship does not remove these challenges.  When marriage is entered into without the requisite mental, spiritual, emotional and mindset preparation and without a previous decision to get married, it produces sorrow and pain for all those involved. Here is some itemized list of issues with unplanned marriage:

  • Blames in place of empathy – Marriages whether planned or unplanned always have issues.  When it is unplanned, the parties involved instead of showing understanding when issues arise blame each other, the pregnancy, baby or others who are instrumental for making the marriage happen.  They end up blaming others but themselves. They forget that they are the ones that got involved in the sexual intercourse that precipitated the unplanned marriage in the first place.  The ability to empathize or show understanding is a requirement for the survival and thriving of the best of marriages not to talk of an unplanned one. An unplanned marriage would normally always result in an unhappy marriage.
  • Career disruption– When marriage comes into one’s life as an interference instead of as a planned act, the career path of both or one of the partners is disrupted.  The result is that marriage that should come into one’s life as an achievement to be proud of is now an act of shame and regret.  None of us want to regret our actions, right?
  • Social stigma – A marriage that is unplanned is usually widely known within the community and environs regardless of efforts to keep it secret. It raises questions as to the moral strength of the parties.  The parties in an unplanned marriage are usually stigmatized even when they are not the most morally lose couple around.
  • Abuse and Violence and Crime – When the normal pressures of married life present themselves to the unprepared couple, they usually react by lashing out at each other.  Verbal abuse leading to and/or violence on the spouse are some of the common consequences.  In many instances, this has led to crime of brutality and murder.  Some of these situations are even too tasking to those who prepared and made a decision to marry.  When it happens to this unprepared couple, the fallout is usually disastrous.
  • Unhappy marriage – Unplanned marriages raises questions about social, mental, spiritual, mindset preparation questions.  Because those involved have not prepared along these lines, marriage challenges make life unbearable for them.  They quarrel and are reactive to each other’s foibles instead of responding to such with maturity.  The result is that the couple would be unhappy for the period of their married life.  No hell is worse than an unhappy marriage.  The toll on both parties include early death, ill health conditions leading to such debilitating diseases as high blood pressure, hypertension, stroke, heart attack and paralysis to name but a few.

Sex and Responsibility 2: Unwanted Pregnancy

July 26, 2012

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Francis Nmeribe, Author and Coach

Unwanted pregnancy is what it is – unwanted pregnancy.  This occurs in every sexual intercourse whether within the bonds of matrimony or in the case of illicit, premarital or even rape sexual intercourse.  Nobody wanted a pregnancy in this case.  The perpetrators, culprits, rapists and aberrant actors involved in it wanted nothing like that.  All they wanted was to get to satisfy a sexual urge, animalistic or even purely devious.

Unlike in the case of a wanted pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy does not just do such small things as disfiguring the beautiful bodies of a young and beautiful woman.  In ninety nine per cent of cases, it ruins the life of the woman.  And in thirty to forty per cent of cases, it ruins the life of the man or young boy involved.  In fact, ruin is an understatement for most girls.  Their lives are ended in the process even while they are alive. 

When people are involved in unwanted pregnancies, they consider many terrible things including abortion and suicide.  Whatever happens and however it ends, there is a permanent scare on the young woman involved.  If she procures abortion and survives, she lives with the guilt of it all her life.  If she procures abortion and loses the capability to get pregnant again in future, she has a sorrow filled life ahead of her. 

There is a huge social stigma associated with unwanted pregnancy for unmarried women.  They carry the burden throughout their lives and most of the time, the men are spared.  Even if she got pregnant with one sexual intercourse and never got involved again throughout her life with any premarital or extramarital sex, she is still considered a lose girl and most times a whore.

Women bear the most and real pain of unwanted pregnancy, whether there was an abortion or the child is born.  Most of the time, the men go away and face their own lives while the woman would have to carry the pregnancy to full term, give birth to the baby and wean and nurse the baby to adulthood.  These are no mean tasks.  In fact, the heavens knew what a terrible and sometimes heavy responsibility that is involved in bringing forth an offspring, hence they planned it in a lawful and legal marriage bond and matrimony.

There are issues of painful nature associated with unwanted pregnancy even in a legal and lawful marriage relationship.  The couple may have had many children and would like to stop.  There may no resources to carter for an additional mouth.  The woman may be too sick to bear a pregnancy term.  The man may be too old to be able to provide for the younger offspring.

Here are some of the responsibilities we have to deal with when there is an unwanted pregnancy:

  • Illegal abortion
  • Death
  • Destruction of the womb leading to barrenness
  • Emotional and physical trauma
  • Stigmatization
  • Negative branding
  • Diseases
  • Disfiguring
  • Career disruption
  • Life disruption
  • Perpetual regret, sorrow and pain

This list is not exhaustive.  There are many sore and dreadful things associated with unwanted pregnancy that everyone involved should consider before engaging in sexual intercourse, even in a legal and lawful marriage.

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