Archive for May 2010

How to Avoid Sexual Intercourse During Dating and Courtship

May 7, 2010

Sexual intercourse outside marriage, once a taboo, has pervasively become the order of the day in this the so-called modern days. The situation now is such that it is considered an absurdity not to be doing it. Like a dog beaten in a contest, mankind is beginning to return home with tail folded between our legs as a result of the suffering, pain, shame and disease occasioned by premarital sex.

As the evil and challenge of pre-marital sex and infidelity in marriages jolt the people back to their senses, a number of relationship authorities such Auntie Agatha of Share A Problem with Agatha and Marriage Clinic, Tina L. Jones an associate of Alexandra Fox, notable relationship coaches and the book Foundation For Joyful Relationship have spoken with vehemence on the merits of avoiding pre-marital sex and the dangers of engaging in it.

It has been established that premarital sex scuttles the possibility of a relationship growing into a beautiful experience. Yet, those who get engaged in premarital sex do so for the experience. Surveys have shown that a great deal of young single adult men and women would like to avoid premarital sex. How do they go about this in the presence of the overpowering influence of the sexual dimorphism?

The following preparations and activities have helped a great deal in saving the virtue of young people and even seniors’ in dating:

• Be careful not to be alone with the opposite sex – I know the questions would fly from left right and center. How can we date without being able to be alone so we can talk? How can we learn about one another without talking? This is why group dating is strongly emphasized. You do not need to be alone to talk. In fact, when you are alone together, you would not be talking. You would be consumed by feelings which would lead you to premarital sex unless you do the next best thing….

• Leave, run, escape – Be prepared and do please leave the scene of dating when you first notice that you are alone or the mood has started to change. In fact, the moment your conversation starts hanging, words become scarce and both of you start staring at each other. When he leaves where he was sitting and comes over by your side and starts breathing down those charged airs from his body. The moment he starts grabbing your hands. The moments his friends who were all with both of you start leaving, it is also time for you to leave. This could be arranged. This is when date-rape takes place. This is the time to leave, run and escape, whichever is applicable with your circumstances. It might be necessary to shock the man back to his senses with a dirty slap. This could be counter-productive, but very handy if you could not escape. It is best, however, to get up and leave, run and escape as the case may be.

• Settle Beginnings – It is absolutely necessary that some benchmarks be set before you set out on the date or as you settle down to talk. Some of the issues that need to be settled in advance include but not limited to:

a. Dirty language
b. Intimate language
c. Handshakes and touching
d. Petting and kissing

Dirty and intimate languages would arouse in both of you feelings you cannot control. Your tolerance of these kinds of languages would give you out as someone who is ready for whatever comes including sexual intercourse on demand. Most men are quick to seize such opportunities. Probably most women too.
Petting and kissing, handshakes and touching are dangerous precursors of sexual intercourse. During wedding ceremonies, the official conducting the wedding usually invites the groom to kiss the bride as husbands and wives do. That’s an ouster clause for dating partners.

Experience has shown that those who date properly and avoid premarital sex enjoy their dating and courtship experience much more than those who get involved in premarital sex. Also, early marriage decisions with clear head have result more in no-sex dating and courtships.

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