Archive for August 2010

Reasons To Avoid Premarital Sex

August 30, 2010

Sexual intercourse is one of the most amazing experiences of life. It is a great tool that bonds couples. Powerful as sexual intimacy may be, though, it also has serious destructive capacity. The destructive impact of sexual intercourse is prominent in the realm of premarital sex.  Casual daters may feel all right to have sex even on the first date. But for those who are looking for a meaningful relationship that is lasting, premarital sex is starting your relationship off on the wrong footing and faulty foundation.

Many dating partners have tried to grow their relationship on the wrong notion that sexual intercourse is love.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  Love is as far apart from sexual intercourse as love and hate is opposite of each other.  You do not need love to get sex and you do not need sex to get love.  Many gullible girls and sometimes boys have been cajoled, intimidated or deceived into believing that sexual intercourse is the same as love. Sexual intercourse and premarital sex is even called love-making. It may interest you to know that sexual intercourse is not even a sign of love.

There is nothing shameful about love.  Love is a noble act wherever and whenever it is exhibited, given or received.  Sexual intercourse on the other hand is only worthy in a legal and lawful marriage relationship.  It is a shame filled act outside marriage, even for those who try to feel or state otherwise.  The bonding effect of sexual intercourse is not possible outside marriage.  The experiences of many clearly point to this conclusion.

There are many other reasons why you should avoid premarital sex.  These include but not limited to the following:

  • Premarital sex reduces the value of the relationship – building a relationship with opposite sex is a delicate business. The effort requires consistent focus on the building of the foundational elements such as friendship, trust, understanding, etc.  Premarital sex serves as a cog in the wheel of progress of this all important venture. It packages it as being cheap and the only reason the relationship was contracted in the first place. Sexual intercourse is one of the worst reasons for being in any relationship.  Sexual intercourse no matter how thrilling cannot enhance or sustain a relationship.  In fact, in most cases, premarital scuttles a relationships and destroys the possibility of it becoming meaningful.
  • Premarital sex denies dating or courtship partners the chance of properly studying their different background – dating and courtship are special periods in the relationship between the sexes.  It is the period when both have opportunity to know the real stuff each is made of.  At the initial stage of the male-female relationship, there are pretended courtesies and formalities intended to create impressions.  But as the dating relationship progresses, it is possible for the observant dater to know the stuff each other is made of so that issues of compatibility could be settled.  The moment, however, premarital sex gets in the way, studying gives way to feeling and all learning abilities vanish.  One of the things that could warn those who are involved in premarital sex that their studying opportunity has been short-circuited is the fact that each meeting begins or ends in a sexual intercourse which becomes more and more meaningless each time.  This preponderance usually results from the soul’s yearning to learn about the other person through the sexual act.  Because this is not possible, this is why people date for ridiculous long periods without making up their minds to continue or leave the relationship. In this kind of learning situation, instead of knowing, the parties get confused.
  • Premarital sex cheapens the essence of this special gift from God called sexual intimacy –as noted at the onset, sexual intimacy is a beautiful thing within the bonds of matrimony.  According to The Family: A proclamation to the world issued by the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, ‘sexual relationship between a man and a woman legally and lawfully wedded is ordained of God’. The experiences of many who have obtained sexual intimacy outside holy matrimony have shown that they felt cheap, used and foolish.  No matter however arts, literature and other media describe sexual intercourse, the moment of truth which people must go back to after the theatricals are over, has only one bitter truth – those who have engaged in premarital sex have felt the three negative emotions of being cheap, used and foolish and possibly more worst emotions as a result.

The target of dating and courtship partners should be to grow the relationship to focus on the essential qualities a marriage needs to solidify it when it happens.  This is called the foundation for joyful relationships.  Working through this foundation enables dating and courtship partners to take responsibilities for the future they plan together by being able to communicate as two people who are committed to building an eternity together.

The wonderful opportunity to study your partner, know what his or her shortcomings are, understand his or her moods, attitudes as well as strength and weaknesses should not be sacrificed on the altar of sexual aggrandizement which is the only worth of premarital sex.

Francis Nmeribe helps who want get their relationship experiences right at the onset and those who want to recover and rebuild their ailing relationships.  He is the author of four eBooks including “Foundation For Joyful Relationships, Wrong Reasons For Getting Married, Growing From Your Experiences and Action Quotes.  Contact Francis at, Email:,

How To Make A Girl Consider You For A Second Date

August 5, 2010

One of the major challenges men face when they meet a girl that they are genuinely interested in seeing again is how to ensure that they could have her for the next date.  This is about the type of girl with the potential of being a real marriage partner.  These kinds of girls are scarce.  This kind of girl is different from the girls who merely want to be out with you for the free food and booze.  Experience has shown that in spite of the dominant position of men in the dating game; when they meet the right woman they are truly frightened about losing her too early to prove their suitability.

If you have ever been in this situation or fear its possibility, here are a few tips you could use to compliment a girl on the first date and keep her expecting your phone call for another dating appointment:

  • Look for cues:  Every woman that accepts a dating appointment with a man takes deliberate steps to be ready for the occasion.  When you pick her up, take a good look with a happy and enthusiastic mood around her and observe those areas of her make-up and general turnout that reveal the efforts she has made to be ready for the occasion.  Pick out such areas for praise.  Look out for good manicure or pedicure that begs for recognition and offer it.  These are ready made opportunities to open a conversation and put her in a relaxed mood also.
  • Offer real life and genuine praise: If you are going out with an experienced woman who have had several dates previously, such well worn phrases like ‘your hair look nice or great today’ may not excite any reasonable impact.  However, if you could associate her hair, clothing or colour combinations with some beautiful natural experiences, you could have your date glowing and enjoying every moment with you.  Such phrases as ‘your gold and purple combination reminds me of the rising sun’; your smile suits my nerves like a cool breeze by the beach’.

  • Make it specific: Vague comments and flattery lack the focused bang of a well prepared open remark.  Such phrases as ‘you have a nice dress’, you have got a cool apartment’, are fine but they do not arouse pride as when you pick a particular feature about your date such as her lips, her nose etc and associate them with something great that is well known like movie stars. Enthusiastic compliments will register you in her hearts, but wishy-washy flattery will get you nowhere.  You can associate her intonation to some beautiful music you like.  Such phrases as “that colour combination look great on you”.  If you had gone to her house to pick her up, you could observe the efforts she made to fix her room.  “You have great taste in colours, fabrics, arts, etc.  Anyone who has taken time to make up her home with objects of arts and of contrasting colours is usually happy to receive these kinds of compliments.  These compliments would also cut you out as one who appreciates style and be a sign of mutual attraction.

As your dating meeting and activity progress, you would have observed more admirable attributes and features.  You could also use the following phrases to keep her feelings rising in your favour:

  • “You have the most fascinating eyes, toes, shoulders, hands, back, legs”.  However, beware of going overboard to sexual innuendoes.
  • “Being with you really gives me sweet peaceful feelings.”  This kind of phrase helps you express a little of your feelings without coming too strongly.  This could help shy guys who might not be able to muster the courage to say ‘I charmed by you’.
  • “A remark about what you feel about her earring or bangle could give you the opportunity to hold her hands or part her hair.”  Be careful, though, not start caressing her or holding the hand for too long as this could lead to uncontrollable emotions leading to premarital sex.  The need to avoid premarital sex is not a religious jargon; it is disruptive of the dating game plan.
  • If you had a wonderful or fantastic time with her, why not tell her … “It has been fantastic to be with you today……..”

To your joyful relationship, Francis.

Author’s Bio

If you would like help with your desire to build a joyful dating and marriage relationships, then you should be working with Francis Nmeribe who is a relationship expert and coach, public speaker, personal transformation teacher and author of four eBooks: “Foundation For Joyful Relationships, Growing From Your Experiences, Wrong Reasons For Getting Marriage and Action Quotes”.  He is an Expert Author.  Francis also helps people who want to build multiple sources of income and confident self-esteem for the life of their dreams.  Contact Francis now, Email:,

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