Archive for October 2011

I Waited For Him For 3 Years Only For Him To Tell Me He Has Married A White Lady: What Do I Do?

October 18, 2011

There is nothing to do other than moving on with your life. Situations like this are why we are teaching that people should date many people of the opposite sex without sexual intercourse. It is wrong to hang on waiting for a man or girl who is pursuing another thing in their lives more important than getting married to you. It is not right to wait for anybody to finish school, to return from abroad, to finish learning a trade and whatever excuses for which someone would have to hang on to wait while the other party is busy with something else.
The right approach is to keep all your relationships open and only commit at an appropriate time. Moral relationship experts have been shouting on the pages of social media groups and other media that people should date without sexual intercourse. Many people who are cynical are considering it too idealistic and impossible. Well, they say, you do not tell the dumb that war has started.

If you date many people and date some for keeps – that is to say, while not going steady with a person, you can go back to the person and continue the dating at any opportune time, you eschew premarital sex, you would find someone you can love who is ready and marry the person. It is not right to date one person steadily for more than one year. It is not right to propose marriage or be in courtship or engagement when marriage is more than one year away. In fact, when you talk courtship, it should be limited to about six months for finding out and less than six months for preparing for the type of marriage you want.

The situation where you wait for a guy or girl to go finish something and come back for you for years is like hanging yourself up in a dangling rope of uncertainty. Don’t give any man or woman that kind of opportunity over your life. Twala the King, of Ancient Bechuana Land in South Africa taught his soldiers to ‘marry the woman who is present’. That counsel is a great way to save you from pain, sorrow and anguish. The heart of man is cunning. It is not possible to discern it. So, learn this wisdom – when you date and court and your partner had important business he or she has to deal with before he would come back and marry you, both of you should suspend the relationship and maturely agree that if you meet on the other side, you can continue but you should both be free to pursue another life.

How To Keep A Guy Fascinated About You

October 5, 2011

It is interesting how some women seem to have obvious advantage in thrilling their men than others. It is more interesting to note that some of the ladies who are best at this game are not usually the prettiest around. Most of the time, these are clearly ordinary looking ladies who we obviously believe we have some aces ahead of them. What is it that makes them seem to have all the lead in relationship with their men? These ladies who are able to make their men turn on a spin have one thing in common – they are fascinating. The synonyms of fascinating include charming, attractive, enthralling, mesmerizing, captivating, interesting, absorbing and intriguing.

A lady can earn this status in a man’s heart if she is able to arouse emotional attraction in the man. There are two key attractor factors in the relationship between the sexes. These are physical and emotional. Physical attraction serves a limited purpose – to get the man knocking at your door. If after arrival, a man did not get emotionally attracted to you, there would be no love. This is why in spite of exhilarating sexual intercourse, men quit relationships.

Physical attraction consists of a pretty face, height, sex appeal, etc. Emotional attraction consists of feeling of connection, friendship, love, etc. While you are born with the elements of physical attraction, the qualities that create emotional attraction are both innate and enhanced over a period of time.

Here are a few things you can do during a relationship to build emotional attraction and keep your man fascinated throughout the relationship:

• Have a life of your own – It is common to see ladies lose themselves in a relationship to the extent that all their peace and joy become dependent on how that relationship worked out. It happens most when a lady feels that she has a great man around her. This is an antithesis to the innate desires of our hearts to be happy. This might appear natural given that the man may actually make you happy. The addictive presence of a great guy is very risky because it quickly leads a lady to begin to think she can’t get by without the man. This leads to yet other wrong moves including attempting to fix the man to fit into what you really want. Instead of depending on the man for your happiness or trying to fix him into a mold, concentrate on your own personal development – read, learn, be aware of trends pertaining to your health, career, social relationships and self-improvement.

• Be yourself – It is better to be first class you than to be second class anybody no matter their height and position. Because someone seems to be more attractive than you is not a good reason to start aping the person. This is because what works for the person you are imitating might not work for you. We are all endowed with special gifts that only you or I can build up on to advantage. What you lack in physical beauty is usually more than compensated in wittiness, smartness or other talents that would distinguish you. To be fascinating, you need to discover what your natural gifts are which you can develop to greater gain.

Be a listener – Everybody want to be heard. You would be more charming in the mind and heart of a man when he notices that you listen attentively to his conversations and in fact, only interject to prod him on. The best conversationalists are the best listeners. The best people we want to spend time with are usually those who would keenly listen to what we have to say. You would arouse more warmth in the heart of a man if he knows, feels and sees that you are attentive to him.

Be creative – You must have heard of such things as creative dating ideas. You can extend this to creative courtship and marriage ideas. Think about your relationship and be clear of what you want out of it and start creating that objective, the ways leading to it, activities that would enhance the possibility of attaining your goal.

Be fun to be with – Men go into a relationship with the anticipation that it would be fun. They like action and thrills of the chase. They like it best when the woman is not easy to get. The natural mystery that surrounds women is one of the enticing elements in a man’s make up. If you are predictable, easy to decipher, then you would more often than not, lose in the game.


The Law Of Attraction In Your Dating And Courtship

October 5, 2011

The law of attraction states that you attract into your life, opportunities and situations that are in harmony with your dominant thoughts.

The law of attraction has been taught, learned, discussed and practiced since the period of the ancient Egyptian mystery schools. It is still as relevant today as it was then. It is both believed and vilified by people as true and as untrue.

One implication of this law is that everything you have or lack in life has been attracted to you by your thoughts. Both from the scriptures and other sources, we learn, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Our personal experiences show for example that each that we are troubled or anxious, the more fearful or evil thoughts that pass through our mind, the more unhappy we become.

This position is weighty in the sense that so many things pass through our mind every moment of the day. Some of them are beautiful thoughts, others are ugly thoughts.

Some are wicked thoughts, fearful thoughts and some of the times, thoughts of courage, thoughts of love and peace.

Another implication of this law is that you can change your present circumstance by changing the way you think. If your dominant thoughts have been thoughts of wickedness and fear, you can change those to thoughts of love and courage.

The law of attraction work in relationships as it does in other situations of life. Dating, courtship and marriage relationships will grow, be stunted, diminish or disintegrate according to the dominant thought of those involved. People in relationships wishes their relationships is flowing, growing and glowing. However, the real result that would be obtained would not be determined by the wishes but by the dominant thought. There is a popular saying in personal development which describes the situation here. It is that while people wish positive, they end up thinking negative.

Many meet a potential date or spouse and the desire for a joyful relationship is aroused. However, fear of losing out sets in. As this fear of losing out dominates your thinking, you create a thought form that is broadcast all over the atmosphere announcing that what you really want is to lose out in this game. As a man thinketh, begins to manifest.

We may blame our relationship woes on the other person or a list of one thousand other reasons or circumstances. The truth is that the result we got is the one we told our mind that we wanted through our thinking. We create what happens to us by the way we think.

How To Use This Law – Analyze your current relationship status or condition and see how it agrees with the way you are thinking. Take credit and responsibility for the result, whether good or bad. Decide what you are going to do about it. Look into your life and ask what is in me that is the root of my current results. Presume as a principle that you are the architect of your own life and destiny. Identify and write what changes you need to make in your thinking for the change or improvement you want in your life. Start thinking along that line.

Learn more at my website: and get a free eBook – “Wrong Reasons For Getting Married”.

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