Sex and Responsibility 2: Unwanted Pregnancy


Francis Nmeribe, Author and Coach

Unwanted pregnancy is what it is – unwanted pregnancy.  This occurs in every sexual intercourse whether within the bonds of matrimony or in the case of illicit, premarital or even rape sexual intercourse.  Nobody wanted a pregnancy in this case.  The perpetrators, culprits, rapists and aberrant actors involved in it wanted nothing like that.  All they wanted was to get to satisfy a sexual urge, animalistic or even purely devious.

Unlike in the case of a wanted pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy does not just do such small things as disfiguring the beautiful bodies of a young and beautiful woman.  In ninety nine per cent of cases, it ruins the life of the woman.  And in thirty to forty per cent of cases, it ruins the life of the man or young boy involved.  In fact, ruin is an understatement for most girls.  Their lives are ended in the process even while they are alive. 

When people are involved in unwanted pregnancies, they consider many terrible things including abortion and suicide.  Whatever happens and however it ends, there is a permanent scare on the young woman involved.  If she procures abortion and survives, she lives with the guilt of it all her life.  If she procures abortion and loses the capability to get pregnant again in future, she has a sorrow filled life ahead of her. 

There is a huge social stigma associated with unwanted pregnancy for unmarried women.  They carry the burden throughout their lives and most of the time, the men are spared.  Even if she got pregnant with one sexual intercourse and never got involved again throughout her life with any premarital or extramarital sex, she is still considered a lose girl and most times a whore.

Women bear the most and real pain of unwanted pregnancy, whether there was an abortion or the child is born.  Most of the time, the men go away and face their own lives while the woman would have to carry the pregnancy to full term, give birth to the baby and wean and nurse the baby to adulthood.  These are no mean tasks.  In fact, the heavens knew what a terrible and sometimes heavy responsibility that is involved in bringing forth an offspring, hence they planned it in a lawful and legal marriage bond and matrimony.

There are issues of painful nature associated with unwanted pregnancy even in a legal and lawful marriage relationship.  The couple may have had many children and would like to stop.  There may no resources to carter for an additional mouth.  The woman may be too sick to bear a pregnancy term.  The man may be too old to be able to provide for the younger offspring.

Here are some of the responsibilities we have to deal with when there is an unwanted pregnancy:

  • Illegal abortion
  • Death
  • Destruction of the womb leading to barrenness
  • Emotional and physical trauma
  • Stigmatization
  • Negative branding
  • Diseases
  • Disfiguring
  • Career disruption
  • Life disruption
  • Perpetual regret, sorrow and pain

This list is not exhaustive.  There are many sore and dreadful things associated with unwanted pregnancy that everyone involved should consider before engaging in sexual intercourse, even in a legal and lawful marriage.

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