Sex and Responsibility 7: Loss of Self-Esteem

The two big time thieves of a sense of self-worth in women is premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse. The male partners involved with these women even consider their female partners very poorly. The men do not trust these women. They treat these women poorly. These women no matter what they do cannot earn the respect of these men and of other men around who are privy to what is going on. Men also try to buoy up their ego by announcing how and the very women they have had sexual liaison with. And those involved know it and it affects their self-esteem. There is also an unconscious connection to what the women feel about themselves. These women deep inside them feel like trash but they usually cannot place their hands on the cause.

These illicit sexual unions hardly result in marriage. When they result in marriages, it is usually without trust and often abusive. All that premarital and extra marital sexual intercourse bring to the practitioners especially the women are shame and pain of heart. No woman ever glory in the act of premarital and extramarital sex. They, in fact, wish the ground open for them to fall in when they reflect on their condition or have it flash in their inner mind and heart.

More often than not, people think there is much to be gained by premarital and extra material sexual intercourse. They think in terms of the fun and excitement, the material benefits such clothing, shoes, jewelry, money and connections for jobs and other sundry considerations. There is much emphasis in worldliness these days. It is only in worldliness that you can find value for the benefits of inappropriate sexual behaviour. Whatever value we see of the proceeds of immorality pales into worthless trash almost immediately.

People have even hinted and sometimes boasted of how a man they had this illicit sexual intercourse with was responsible for saving their families from poverty by his generosity to all their family members, providing jobs to the women and their siblings. These considerations have been known to avail very little when the impact of the act starts manifesting in the mind and heart and body and the environment of those who are involved in it.

Some of the feelings that those who are involved in unlawful sexual intercourse struggle with, which take away any joys and excitements and the supposed value of any material benefits include:

• Shyness
• Dishonour
• Dependence
• Pain
• Shame
• Scuttled dreams
• Poverty
• Enmity
• The Spirit of God stops striving with the fellow
• Loss of the zeal for living

All these and more combined produce a loss of self-esteem which precludes those involved from enjoying their lives to the fullest possible. These challenges arising from premarital and extra marital sexual activity create stumbling blocks in the lives of the people involved in it.

The loss self-esteem takes away the enthusiasm for life. It affects our thought processes even when we do not see it or accept that it does. By the time the effect starts manifesting, we are already in deep waters and some have ended up as psycho cases which are usually blamed on neighbourhood witches and wizards and envious relatives.

Be wise and avoid any form of premarital and extra marital sexual activity in your life.

3 Comments »

  1. 1
    bernice akabuah Says:

    Thank you prez. for enlightg our minds to this truths. We shall be wise and avoid any form of premarital and extramarrital sex.
    Most marriages fail today because they are ignorant of this, and many think having sex before marriage is a sign of love.

    • 2

      Thanks, Bernice for visiting my blog. I am grateful to be of help in these matters. Find time to read more of the free articles on my blog and please share on facebook, and other social media you are registered with and with friends.

      Cheers.

    • 3

      Hi, Bernice,

      My flagship relationship book – Dating 101 – Principles and Practice has been published. This is a must for those who want to date for marriage and want to it right and help their partners to make quick decision for marriage. You can learn more about it at http://francisnmeribe.com.

      Cheers.


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