Archive for the ‘personal development’ Category

You Said That Marriage Is An Act Of Faith And Not Money: How Can You Marry Without Money?

July 20, 2012

We have had princes and princesses and sons and daughters of the wealthy who could not marry. We have had people of wealth and means who could not even chat a woman up or have a man pay attention to them. We have had many of these people with a lot of money who lived and died single. We have many of such who could not make successful marriages. We have many high and mighty, wealthy and educated that could not raise a family or posterity they could be proud of on earth and, of course, in the presence of God. For these, money never was their problem because they had money in abundance.

In the same vein, we have had many people without money or who are poor who could not marry or are also unable to chat a woman up or be desired by any man. There are several poor people who could not raise a proper family they could be proud of just as there has been the rich and wealthy who could not also do the same.

What all these point to is that, logically speaking, money is not a catcher for marriage. What I have learned from my own experience is that the decision to get married is not an issue of the availability of money but that of desire. Desire is the first principle of successful living and wealth creation. It is desire that pushes for the achievement of anything in life. If you want something so badly, then you always ultimately get it. But if you do not want something, even if it is dropped at your feet, you have no motivation to do anything about it.

Think about it this way. The first time you did something important for your welfare and development, did you do it because you had money or did you do it because it is what you wanted? Every time I have done this test with people, it is always that they obtained something because it is what they wanted rather than what money they have leading them to go for what they got.

I know people who are married whose monthly income is less than half of many who would not marry because they did not have enough money to feed themselves not to talk of adding another mouth in the place of a wife and possibly children.

Even with all the money in the world, there is no guarantee that your marriage would be happy. The things that guarantee peace and happiness in marriage are ninety per cent attitude, nine and half per cent decision. Other variables share the remaining half per cent with money in contributing to peace and happiness in marriage.

In the foundation for joyful relationships, friendship, mutual respect and faith in God are tops to what people should learn and acquire during dating and courtship if they want to be happy in their marriage.

If you need help with your dating and marriage relationship, contact me at

The Law Of Attraction In Your Dating And Courtship

October 5, 2011

The law of attraction states that you attract into your life, opportunities and situations that are in harmony with your dominant thoughts.

The law of attraction has been taught, learned, discussed and practiced since the period of the ancient Egyptian mystery schools. It is still as relevant today as it was then. It is both believed and vilified by people as true and as untrue.

One implication of this law is that everything you have or lack in life has been attracted to you by your thoughts. Both from the scriptures and other sources, we learn, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Our personal experiences show for example that each that we are troubled or anxious, the more fearful or evil thoughts that pass through our mind, the more unhappy we become.

This position is weighty in the sense that so many things pass through our mind every moment of the day. Some of them are beautiful thoughts, others are ugly thoughts.

Some are wicked thoughts, fearful thoughts and some of the times, thoughts of courage, thoughts of love and peace.

Another implication of this law is that you can change your present circumstance by changing the way you think. If your dominant thoughts have been thoughts of wickedness and fear, you can change those to thoughts of love and courage.

The law of attraction work in relationships as it does in other situations of life. Dating, courtship and marriage relationships will grow, be stunted, diminish or disintegrate according to the dominant thought of those involved. People in relationships wishes their relationships is flowing, growing and glowing. However, the real result that would be obtained would not be determined by the wishes but by the dominant thought. There is a popular saying in personal development which describes the situation here. It is that while people wish positive, they end up thinking negative.

Many meet a potential date or spouse and the desire for a joyful relationship is aroused. However, fear of losing out sets in. As this fear of losing out dominates your thinking, you create a thought form that is broadcast all over the atmosphere announcing that what you really want is to lose out in this game. As a man thinketh, begins to manifest.

We may blame our relationship woes on the other person or a list of one thousand other reasons or circumstances. The truth is that the result we got is the one we told our mind that we wanted through our thinking. We create what happens to us by the way we think.

How To Use This Law – Analyze your current relationship status or condition and see how it agrees with the way you are thinking. Take credit and responsibility for the result, whether good or bad. Decide what you are going to do about it. Look into your life and ask what is in me that is the root of my current results. Presume as a principle that you are the architect of your own life and destiny. Identify and write what changes you need to make in your thinking for the change or improvement you want in your life. Start thinking along that line.

Learn more at my website: and get a free eBook – “Wrong Reasons For Getting Married”.

How To use The Law of Reciprocity To Grow Your Relationship

July 4, 2010

The Law of Reciprocity is perhaps the most powerful and vital of all human motivators. Your regular use of it will bring you opportunities that you cannot now envision. This principle says, “If you do a duty for someone, that someone, will want to do a duty for you. He or she would want to reciprocate in some way so that he or she does not feel indebted.”

Majority of human beings would naturally like to be fair in their dealings with other people. As soon as someone does something pleasant for a person, that individual feels an obligation to give back, to pay the person back one way or the other.  The immediate result of a favor or benevolence is to unbalance the equation of equality between the giver and the receiver. In consequence, recipients always look for ways to restore equilibrium. They look for a way to return the good deed by doing something good for you also.

Think about the experiences you have had in the past.  When you take a friend out for lunch or other outings and you pay the bill, he or she would like to invite you out the next time. If you host a friend in your home for dinner, he or she will feel obliged to inviting you over at some other time to his or her own home.  Perhaps, you can remember the last time you send or received Christmas or birthday cards.  The overwhelming feeling for all parties is to reciprocate even when you are not all well acquainted with each other.

Many relationship problems emanate from the fact that this law is either not recognized or not practiced.  It is associated to the law of retributive justice or karma as it is known in the esoteric schools.  Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Imagine how a relationship would flow sweetly and produce fulfillment for all concerned if people would give the love and affection they are expecting from their spouses.  Think about your need for kind words and therefore the need to speak kindly to your partner.  We all wish we are more trusted by our partners, how about trusting our partners and keep it so until we are disappointed.  People in relationships always expect that the other party is friendlier in their attitude towards them.  How about taking deliberate steps to be friendly yourself towards the other party.

The list and opportunities are endless.  The way to go is to ask yourself, what would I have done to me in this relationship? What would I like to get from this relationship?  Then try to do those things you would want done to you and start giving those things you would want to get.  In due course, by the immutable laws of nature, everything you have done and given would be returned to you many fold.

This law is infallible.  Think about those times when you have smiled at a stranger and remember what happened.  They usually always smile back.  You can even experiment on this at home with your spouse or partner.  Alternate between smiling and frowning and see what you get from your wife, children.  If you are in a dating or courtship relationship, try practicing this when you meet for an outing.

And when you are not getting what you want from or in a relationship, why not sit down and review what you are giving or investing. Attitude is important also.  When you do or give, it should be according to the law – unconditionally.  There should be no conditions attached.  You should give because it is the right thing to do.  This should be separated from the ensnaring gifts of men and women in skewed up relationships.  Nevertheless, they still usually lead you to get what you want, though it may be dubious.

When you arrange your life in agreement with the laws of nature or God, you will always be amazed at the rapidity at which good things start to turn out for you.

The Law of Reciprocity in human associations is one of the most potent principles you will ever gain knowledge of.

Francis Nmeribe is a relationship expert and coach.  He can be reached through his website and blog: and or email:

How To Prepare Your Children For Life

June 3, 2010

My experience around Africa and in some parts of the world is that nowadays nobody is teaching our children our ways. There are no conscious efforts to have our children get the right type of education that would ensure that they have a chance to survive, not to talk of thriving. We have even lost the only basic element that is part of the colonially bequeathed education – integrity. What we are concerned about today is to get our children to pass examinations and get paper qualification.

For this purpose, parents have bought certificates for their children; they have arranged to have other people write examinations for their children. The latest in vogue now is to arrange and pay money to unscrupulous school teachers and other special classes to arrange for “special centres” for their children to write examinations where answers are written down for them on the board.

The above is the reason we have university graduates who are armed robbers and kidnappers because they cannot afford to survive in the real world as soon as they left schools. In most African cities today, there is no chance of survival for those who had only secondary school education. This is because; they merely got poor reading and writing skills for the period they spent in schools.

To survive in this world today, and this is would be more complex tomorrow, we need life skills education and personal development. While life skills would ensure that we have the capacity to provide service to others and get paid doing so, personal development would ensure that our mind and heart and mental faculties are developed to be able to think and create products, programmes, ideas and services that would enhance the quality of our lives.

What is being advocated here is that from secondary school level or as early as they can handle it, our children should be thought how to produce food, even if you are living in the cities this can still be thought with backyard gardens or hanging plants in baskets and pots right inside your rooms or by the wall. They should be thought how and why to provide service to other people. They should be thought house/home operation skills such as plumbing, electrical wiring and fittings, carpentry and furniture maintenance, decoration, cooking, sanitation, etc. This is one of the major things that differentiate the advanced and advancing societies from us.

They should be prepared to know that from age 12 or as soon as is practicable, they should be start making a living and start saving for their education and other voluntary services or for supporting the family. This is irrespective of the wealth or riches already existing in the family.

They should be taught the importance of reading and writing down their experiences, maintaining journals of all their activities, experiences, feelings, thoughts and events in the life of their family and the community.

They should be taught very early in life to love studying the scriptures and other motivational books so that they can gain wisdom required for relationships, associations, team building, networking etc, required for a wholesome community living in this day and age. The opportunities are limitless.

Money is a critical element in human interaction. Money is used to create wealth. It is surprising that our people spend between 12 and 16 and sometimes 20 years in schools and are not taught a single thing about how to create or accumulate wealth. As a result, our people come into living and do nothing except to “pursue money”. This is the bane of our society today. This is why our children are taking to crime as a sign that they are smart. This is why ‘our leaders’ or those who masquerade as such only loot the treasury. It is all because they never learned how to create or accumulate wealth. They think wealth could be stolen. Being fools, they perish with the money they looted from the public treasury and the treasury of their organizations.

With life skills education and personal development, we would engender an evolutionary trend that would make this world answer the end of its calling and glorify the name of God, our Creator.

People in our own generation and the current generation have lost it. But we can ensure that our children do not lose it also by providing these two types of education for them.

What do you think? Do you have ideas and strategies to achieve this idea?

If you would like to get help in the daunting task of raising your family, we can help you. Success Publishers publishes success strategies on relationships, personal transformation and development and wealth creation.

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